I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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