Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
