I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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