Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
