And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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