I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
