I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
