pedialite and red bull = repair kit
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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