I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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