david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
