but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
sarcasm needs its own font
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
