I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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