Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's never too late to be topless.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
