so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize