i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
