I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
