I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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