do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
