plz talk dirty to me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
