I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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