You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
NoShamevember. You game?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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