I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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