I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
