if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.