Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.