You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...