i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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