i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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