If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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