A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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