I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
