her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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