Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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