Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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