She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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