you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
