I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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