Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
