I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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