We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
