Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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