grandma shit on top of the toilet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're like the curious george of whores
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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