Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
