if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize