pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
