look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hippo gnu deer
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
