I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
well you can't waste a boner
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
