Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
