I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
