you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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