Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
