Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
