His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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