i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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