i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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