Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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