sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
