So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
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I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.