Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?