I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know