I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE