my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it