I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
