just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
