no, he came in my armpit
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
