elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
