I CAN MOONWALK!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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