I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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